What are your thoughts on marriage?
Is it a necessity in life?
Why would you or would you not get married?
My video response below:
The Old Simo YouTube channel can be found here
I am Greek so you might think that marriage would be a focal point for me or for my family. Marriage and wedding objectives are often top priorities in ethnic families.
The older generations in my family had that view point. However, it’s worse when your parents push that agenda. My parents have never been determined to see me married. They have always focused on worthier objectives.
I don’t believe that men fantasise about their wedding day. Most men would be happy not getting married. Women generally push for it and find thousands of different ways in order to get men to agree to it. They are so good at it that men often don’t realise their tactics.
If men push for it, it’s often due to objectives that revolve around ownership of women. It’s also the push to have the socially acceptable image of marriage and family.
Wedding fantasies are the social constructed longings of women. I believe biological needs are part of the push. Having a legally committed man to assist in producing their children. The other part is the adherence to the social expectation of being married and having the big day. It’s rather distasteful and frustrating because I think the fantasy worth striving for has been neglected and over shadowed.
Overall I don’t think marriage is a necessity. Why bother entering the legality of marriage? There is very little legal difference between a married couple and a defacto couple in relation to family law matters. This includes property settlements and entitlements to spousal maintenance.
I enjoy being a guest at a wedding. I’ve been to so many memorable weddings. But that doesn’t mean that I want one of my own. Taking me out of a guest context and placing me into the shoes of a groom changes everything.
A wedding is as expensive as you make it but the average wedding costs around $40,000 in Australia. All that money on one day? Seems like financial wastage to me.
Being a groom seems daunting. All the more daunting when the groom is on show in front of an audience for a day and night. It’s like a performance that I’m not willing to engage in. A wedding feels too personal to be sharing. I’ve never understood why anyone would want to share such an intimate moment with others.
Despite my stance I am willing to compromise. Don’t doubt that I would try talking a partner out of it. A partner would have to agree on the only option. Elopement. The wedding would take place on a Mediterranean beach in summer. It would extended into a first class European holiday!
I would prefer a ceremony for two with a random witness. However, I wouldn’t oppose to a small group of close family and friends flying over to witness the ceremony.
“I need to see you on your wedding day”
“I have to see you married before I die”
These are common statements I hear coming out of the well meaning mouths of ethnics . Marriage is often seen as a sign of settling down, security and comfort. Daughters are officially be provided for and secure. Well meaning aside, they are mind boggling and alarming comments to make. How about the following statements instead?
“I would like to see you find true love and real compatibility with another person”
“You finding love and happiness with another person is a great reward for me”
People are so focused on artifice. It’s as if the ceremony proves something to the audience that are witnessing it. It doesn’t.
A wedding does not enhance the love between two people. It’s just a service. It makes no difference to how two people feel about each other. Pining for a service and fantasizing about being in a wedding dress for a day is a reflection of a cultural base that is materialistic and consumerist.
Love is natural. Marriage is not. Love is essential to life and finding love should be the only goal here.
Most of my friends are in relationships. Many of them are married. Friends finding real love is the ultimate satisfaction. Nothing can top that. I’ve attended every wedding and had a marvelous time. I respect their want/need to have one but it’s not an enhancement. It’s just an add on and a great party. The supreme goal was achieved before the ceremony took place.
To have true love is to be truly blessed.