Why are women reluctant to admit that they masturbate?
Do you believe it when a woman tells you that she does not masturbate or has never tried it?
Should women discuss their masturbatory habits more openly?
My video response to the topic below:
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I’ll be the first to admit that I masturbate and I feel no shame in that admission or in my masturbatory practices. Granted, I don’t masturbate as frequently as I did when I was a teenager or in my early 20s. In my case, when I am getting regular sex I tend to masturbate less which I why I do it less these days. Regardless, it’s still good to do it a few times a week. Nothing wrong with making love to yourself or is there?
In the fourth season of the television show Mad Men, Betty Draper catches her teenage daughter Sally masturbating. Betty responds to this by slapping her and sending Sally to a psychiatrist. Would Betty have reacted in a similar way if she caught her son masturbating? HELL NO!
I have listened to so many women deny that they have and/or do masturbate. Not once, did I believe their claims. To me, it seemed so implausible and so unnatural. I could tell that they were lying through their teeth but there were reasons for their fibbing.
A portion of these deniers will admit to masturbating in front of their partner, using a vibrator or a dildo solo but they will never admit to masturbating solo and without a sex toy. Why does playing with yourself solo with no audience and no sexual aid make it so much different?
Perhaps women feel more comfortable discussing this area with other women. Maybe they need to know that other women are doing it too before they admit to it. Though I’m told that quite often solo masturbation is a topic that is not even discussed and denied, if brought up, among female friendship groups.
Men talk about masturbating all the time. Guys often pride themselves on how many times they jerk off a day. No such open general social dialogue or acceptance exists for women. This makes me quite mad as it is yet another example of how unequal male and female sexuality is in our society. Despite significant social inroads, a great deal of female sexuality still remains taboo.
Women are taught to downplay their sexuality, to not be bold or forthright about what they do and what they want. Men are taught to expect and want this from women and if she has an opposite presentation, she is somehow an inferior woman: a woman of loose moral fibre and a threat to men and other women. In many cultures women are often taught their vaginas and sexualities are shameful and are only for the purpose of procreation and for the utilization of their husbands.
If a woman with a partner masturbates, it is often seen as though there’s something wrong with her relationship. If a woman is without a partner, masturbating is seen as an act of loneliness. Male masturbation, single or partnered, is viewed in the same way. It’s simply something that men do.
I’m sure women masturbate whenever they have a spare 15 minutes. Sometimes out of necessity, sometimes out of boredom. Just like men do.
I feel bad for women. It really is a case of being damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Men want females to be sexual but not too sexual. What the hell is too sexual? Is that another way of telling women to not proudly own their sexuality and enjoy it?
Ladies, it’s about time you not only admitted to masturbating but started speaking about it openly. It is a great way to own your own body. Through masturbation women get a better grasp of their sexuality and their sexual interests. It helps in understanding how a woman’s own specific body operates.
Refusing to masturbate generally stems from women who are scared of the intensity of their sexual desires. Not indulging only intensifies the sexual desires which can lead to all types of sexual frustration and self loathing. It’s also a great way to relieve physical and mental stress and tension.
Women talking more openly (with men and each other) about masturbation aids in dissolving the canons of female sexual repression and diminishes age old stigmas. The more we all talk about the legitimate act of self sexual satisfaction honestly, the more accepted and normalized it will become in our society.
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